So, a book has been ghostwritten but
this time the short reign of peace that existed after the last online furore
(Russel Brand vs The Sun, anyone?) has been broken.
Yes, a book has been ghostwritten
and the inaudible screeches of the ever-suffering online population come
spewing out of the screen toward me. Engulfing my otherwise uneventful daily
visit to Twitterlandia. I want to make a comment as I, too, will have two deluded tweenage daughters (maybe more) in ten years time.
First, the book was ghostwritten. You
know what, who cares? Not the first time it was done.
Second, we have the
people-are-just-jealous crew versus
what-about-all-the-struggling-writers-trying-to-get-a-book-deal gang. Yes, there could be a degree of greenness, or
degreenness, in the fingertips of lesser known/unknown authors a.k.a.
‘I-keep-a-blog’ers as they click-click-clickety-click their views into the
virtual highway. However, it is 2014 and self-publishing has become a viable
avenue for getting noticed. If you have the touch and the determination, you
can get noticed. Sell a couple of thousand copies through this system and the
publishers will be knocking at your door. The good stuff always comes to the
surface, this is something I am adamant about but also something I need to
believe for my own sanity. I may be naïve but it is a small price to pay to
keep my mental health.
Third, there are screams of ‘no way
a tweenage-internet-idol wrote a book!’ What is this argument all about? It’s
not Catcher in The Rye, and it is not trying to be. And she is 24. Dylan Thomas
wrote and had ‘And death shall have no dominion’ published when he was 18.
Fourth, the girl is taking a lot of
stick since the news broke. But, hey, she built a following on what those who
watched her ramblings via Youtube believed to be an open, honest (and perhaps
personal) relationship. She broke that trust but with the help of a publishing
house and its marketing strategy. Yes, leverage some of your hate in that
direction. A publisher once requested to take a manuscript off my hands if they
could put a Z-lister’s name to it. I said no. That was in 2010. Trust me, the
big boys had taken the manufactured ‘X-factor’ route long before Zoella logged
on to Youtube for the first time – but at least One Direction were manufactured
in front us, in the open. Her greed, be it financial or professional, led her
into the trap. And to think, all she had to do was say that it was ghostwritten
from the beginning. So, so simple.
Fifth, yes, 78,000 copies were sold
in the first week. It broke all existing debut novel records. Let’s put that
into a more appropriate context: 1.3% of her Youtube subscribers bought it. One
point three percent. If I published my book today I reckon I could get five of
my followers to buy a copy. Yep, 8% of my following. Smashing her record out of
the water.
Finally, the girl was quite happy to
lap up the attention as the records fell around her. She always dreamt of
writing a book, who hasn’t? A couple of weeks ago she stood in front of the
lenses of the world, beaming, proudly clutching her book knowing the truth. Her
publishers stood by and were definitely high-fiving each other on a job well
done, because it is a high-fiving industry. And quietly, in the shadows, sat
the ghost clutching the non-disclosure agreement she had signed, legally-bound
to bring the secret to her grave. Which brings me back to the vlogger’s age.
She is 24. An adult who built a huge following by being open and honest. Clearly
she is a smart woman. There is no doubt about that. But, it is because she is a
smart woman it makes it that much harder to forgive her for deciding to go
along with the publisher’s suggestion. You have to take the good with the bad,
Zoella, that is just how life works. As for the publisher, just like when any
scandal occurs nowadays amongst the ranks of the powerful, they will throw out
some nonsensical non-answer to the pestering public and will hope everything
will settle down. Why should they worry? There will be another ‘celebrity’ to
market their wares down the line. And so the circle continues. Remember Pippa’s
party book flop? Ah well, you win some you lose some.
However, it is this consistent attitude
by those who hold the reins that the public is stupid that is the real issue I
have. This saga is just another example. We have a duty to stand up for one
simple moral: don’t lie to us, don't undermine our intelligence.
That is all.
p.s. My 11-year-old niece, for
once, decided to listen to her old uncle and would like a refund of the £12.99
she spent of her hard-saved pocket-money on ‘Online Girl’ as the description she
was given when she made the purchase does not fit the product – Sales of Goods
Act 1979, Law 1.01. Yeah, she is making a mini-stand.
p.p.s. I am looking forward to Twitter’s
reaction to Zoella’s inevitable ‘coming clean’ vlog but I am sure there will be other
occurrences to ‘outrage’ the good folk in the Twitter-sphere before then.